That's when you crack a 10am beer
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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