Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
