**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
