I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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