You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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