We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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