How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
two words...techno handjob
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
