I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
