Please, let me fuck your mom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
