WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
