remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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