look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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