when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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