im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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