i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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