Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
