Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
