Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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