This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
