she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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