On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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