My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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