you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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