maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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