I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
