Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
