so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
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