Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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