I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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