whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
