Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
