He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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