She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its about making memories worth repressing
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
