Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
