This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
