I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cockslap morals
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
