well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
