CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
