we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
