boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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