You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
