i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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