Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
