Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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