you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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