id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
