Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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