did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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