Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
