we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I sprained my soul last night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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