So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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