I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
